Values become Beliefs become Behavior

Anytime someone raises their level of expectation for themselves when no one else can see it; it is most likely because of a spiritual connection or a belief system they have.
The wise person in the last example grew up with or chose the belief system that what is simply necessary was not good enough for them. It is the values they have chosen and possess, that compels them to do better.
Someone looks at something and says to themselves, â??What everyone else thinks is good enough is not good enough for me,â?? and then proceeds to create something better. That is how advancements are made in the world.
It is also through raising standards that drug and alcohol addiction are treated. The purpose of the time spent in a drug or alcohol rehab is to allow you to find a way to reconnect with that spirit that says that old behavior of abusing drugs and alcohol is not good enough for me.

It is through the pursuit of such dreams that passion is grown. It is through such effort that character and real lasting fulfillment is built and achieved. It is oneâ??s spirituality, one values and beliefs that guide us on that journey.

How Did We Get Our Values And Beliefs?

Lots of our value system came from our family. When we were kids what we saw and heard from our parents became to a large part out first value system. This may be part of the reason we see patterns of drug and alcohol abuse “running” in certain families.
Our friends and peer group as we were growing were the next major influence. Our heroes and those we admired or wished to be like also left their mark.
Then there are all the formal institutions that also added their part. School, media, organized religion, and even society as a whole with its laws, and courts have had some influence.

It seems that a lot of people â??helpedâ?? you choose your values and beliefs.
Some valid questions then might be:
Who chose your belief system? You or others around you?
Does your value system support you to get to the ultimate destination you want in you life?
Does your belief system help you not to relapse or ensure you will relapse?
If it doesnâ??t totally support you why not choose a better one that will?

It dosen’t matter how many drug or alcohol rehabs a person goes to, if you belief system is not one of abstinence and pursuit of a higher purpose, a return to drug abuse, or a return to alcohol will probably result.

What is a Spiritual Life?

Many times as one is looking for our life’s work, several questions come up:
What is my purpose in life?
Who am I?
Why am I here?
What am I supposed to do during my time here on earth?

Values become Beliefs become Behavior

These questions can only be answered from a spiritual, or values based system. In the hard core no-nonsense business world some people might call this useless or silly. Some would say it is a total waste of time
However, when one stops to ponder, all meaningful and lasting accomplishments and advancements in our world occur because of some sort of spiritual connection inside the person making that advancement.

Most of us in our lives have come across a situation like this:
When we were growing up or just starting to work, you end up â??helpingâ?? someone.
The job or chore ends up taking much longer than you first expected. Just about as this job is finished, the person you are working with notices something is not quite right.
The older wiser person sighs and says â??Weâ??ll have to take it apart and do it all over to fix this.â?? Inevitably because we are younger and more foolish, we suggest, â??Why donâ??t we just finish it as it is. Itâ??s not that big a deal, and nobody will know.â??
The wise teacher then looks us in the eye and says, â??I will know.â??.

It is work on improving this core belief system that will be the keystone of drug addiction treatment. When you can raise the standards in someone abusing drugs and alcohol you can stop the bahavior. This is the reason work on spiritual values always comes into play as part of any drug addiction program. More tommorow.

If one of the main ways to deal with addiction is to pursue a worthy carreer and meaningful goals, we must always consider the long haul. Again if someone is fresh out of a drug or alcohol rehab, the first few weeks are filled with excitement and hope. If we are to make a permanent bahavior change and never return to alcohol or drugs again one must find a mechanism to stay focused. It is easy to stay focused in the early stages of change. The positive feedback one gets from stopping substance abuse encourages one to try harder. Everyone notices the improvement in your life an comments on it.
The comes the more difficult period. Where change comes more slowly. Maybe there are periods where there is no change at all. Normal life stresses creep back in. This is a dangerous period and if not handled properly will end up in a return to drug or alcohol abuse. Again this sets up the scenario of multiple visits to drug rehab.

A key in preventing this is to develop a focus the will motivate and lead you through these more challenging periods. That focus is the purpose of spirituality.

What is a Spiritual Life?

Spirituality can mean many things to different people
Some view it as religion
Some view it as a higher power, or God
Some view it as a universal connection to the earth and all living things
Some view it as a waste of timeâ?¦.

There is another way to look at a spiritual life. One that is still congruent with all the previous definitions, plus a lot more. One can simply say that a spiritual life is one lived on the basis of a consistent set of values that allows the pursuit of any worthwhile goal. That set of values will determine the â??whyâ?? or the purpose in a personâ??s life.
Ultimately it is your values or your personal set of beliefs that will determine your behavior.

“Spiritual intention is concerned not with short-term success but with the long-term direction of our life. Whether we attain our goal is not as important as our firm commitment to stay pointed in the right direction”
Lewis Richmond

The focus of the next series of entries will be how to develop that spiritual intention in your life. It again is work on the fundamental part of you that will reap many rewards in your addiction treatment. Fundamental change will result in a happier life, one without alcohol or durgs,

One of the ways to make sure you will follow through on the step you planned is to Announce to the World your Intentions,

Tell people about your plan, making it public will make it harder for you to move the timelines
Unfortunately be prepared for some people to voice their reasons why you won’t make it
Check your results and update and modify your plan
Never lose sight of your goal
When you acquire one skill move on to the next, if you can work on two at once, thatâ??s even better

Going public with your family and friends will also help in another area. Many times while in their active phase of their drug or alcohol addiction people damage and destroy their credibility through lieing and deceit. When you announce your goals and you behavior starts to follow what you said you were going to do, it slowly rebuilds trust. This is a particularly useful step when you have just finished a period in drug or alcohol rehab. It isn’t necessary to tell those around about the changes that occured in rehab as much as it is necessary to show them the changes you learned and practised while in rehab with your new behavior.

The other thing to do is whatever stage your are in with you addiction treatment, go get a journal.

Tony Robbins said, â??If a life is worth living, it is worth documenting.â??
Get yourself a nice hardbound journal to write your goals and keep track of your progress
Remember, even if it takes you 10 years to achieve your ideal work, in 10 years you will be 10 years older anyway. You can be 10 years older and bitter and stressed , or you can be 10 years older and fulfilling your dreams, BUT YOU WILL BE 10 YEARS OLDER NO MATTER WHAT!

Again it doen’t matter want behavior in your addiction you are trying to change. It doesn’t matter whether you are just contemplating going to rehab or if you are just finishing your fifth time at a rehab. The steps to problem solving are the same and setting some goals and writing them down in a good journal are fundamental steps to changing the addictive patterns of drug abuse to ones of health and a great life.

Sometimes the most difficult part of dealing with drug and alcohol addicition is re-instilling the belief that we can change. Frequently, especially if a person has been to several drug or alcohol rehabs, they feel there is no point, because they can’t change. This is precisely the reason I am spending a lot of time on this aspect of addiction treatment. Compelling reasons cause people to change, even ones with longstanding addiction. Finding a purpose greater than yourself in your work is often one of these compelling reasons. They can form a foundation for a tipping point shift, where abusing drugs or alcohol will never occur again.

So assuming you have found such a dream and goal in your life that the thought of doing this dream for a job makes the hair tingle on the back of your neck, how do you start to pull it off. What is the next step. Think of the questions we finished with in yesterdays post. The answers to these last questions are starting to form the basis of your plan to find meaningful work in your life.
Examine these skills, talents and education and order them in priority of which you think is the most important to acquire, to the least. Look at the skills you need to acquire and start to form plans with steps and TIMELINES starting with your number 1 priority.

For example: If you wish to run your own business and your first priority would be for you to have better leadership skills:
Check the library and internet for information
Look for courses at your community college
Find someone who has the skills you desire and ask they how they did it
Look for positions of employment where they would train you

Come up with an Action Plan:

Write a detailed description on the steps you will take to acquire this skill e.g..
I will take out 2 library books about leadership by May 1 and will have read them both by May 30
I will ask 2 business owners how they acquired their skills by June 15
I will enroll in one business management course by Aug. 15
I will apply for 5 junior management training positions by Sept. 15

You have to start plan realistic steps and follow through on them. Small steps followed through on will set up a positive addictive cycle. More success leads to more effort and more tasks attempted and completed. Sometimes we like to think addiction is a special “problem”. My drug addiction is unique and requires unique and specialized drug or alcohol treatment. It doesn’t matter how special or difficult a problem is, sovling problems is a skill and as such needs to be practiced and used. Finding meaningful work may be a difficult problem. If you follow the steps I suggest and follow through, you just might suprise yourself and in the meantime, you will be much futher along in dealing with your addiction and taking yourself off the list of those headed for another visit to drug rehab.

Once someone actually sees the power and importance of meaningful work in the treatment of drug and alcohol addiction, they ususally start to take this step seriously. Sometimes if they are still in a drug rehab facility they are willing to take any job as long as it helps they stay clean. However, just staying clean is not enough of a goal in addiction treatment. If there are not powerful life fulfilling goals, it is simply a matter of time until a slip or relapse occurs with continued drug use and the addiction cycle resumes.

Your Work Vision

Taking your time go through the list of questions and answer each one, no matter how outrageous it might seem right now.
Once finished, pause, relax, smile, and go through the list again. Look at each answer and ask yourself, â??Is this want I really want, or is it closer to what I think I can get?â??
If itâ??s not want you really want, cross it out and put down what you really, really desire.

Looking at the answers to your list, start to visualize what a perfect day at work might look like for you.
See if you can imagine in your mind where you are, and what you are doing.
See if you can imagine what it might feel like to be that person.
What would be the benefits to you and those around you if you were that person?
Write out this perfect day, and the benefits.
This is your vision or goal of what meaningful work would be for you!

What to Change

Write down a description of all the qualities, skills, talents and education, that this person having this perfect workday would have.
Now write out a description of all the qualities, skills, talents and education that you presently have.
Looking at each of the skills individually, see where you are now and where you have to go.
What changes would have to occur?
What courses might you have to take?
What books would you have to read?
What mentors would you have to find?

Again I know this is a lot of work. However as a reminder, isn’t addiction a lot of work? Remembering all the lies and constantly hiding and covering up behaviors is exhausting and time consuming. Even though going to a drug rehab is a difficult decision, many people once there, find it relaxing NOT to have so much work to do covering up their addiction. They find they have lots of spare time now they are not constantly searching out drugs or the money to buy drugs. So yes this is a lot of work. You are worth it so give it a try.

Well if I haven’t convinced of the value of meaningful work to the treatment of drug addiction by now, I never will. So if you really believe that having purpose and direction in your work will keep you out of another visit to a drug rehab, where do we start:
The simplest way to find the best work-stress-life fit is to work in reverse.
Just like when you build a new home, you must visualize it first
Once you can see what you want, you need a plan with timelines
Follow your plan
Alter or adapt your steps as you proceed, always keeping your ultimate destination in mind

The hardest thing when doing this exercise is turning off the negative voice in our heads, the one that says, â??you canâ??t do thatâ??. While it is true that if you are 45 years old and 5 feet tall that making the N.B.A. as a pro basketball player is unrealistic, you could still making a wonderful living in basketball as a coach, consultant, open a company selling dream basketball camps or a myriad of other possibilities
You need to find a quiet and comfortable spot, away from other people. Then take your list of questions and answer them as truthfully as you can. Answer them as though your life depends upon it, because IT DOES!

Again, yes this is work. No, it is not easy. However no one jumps into substance abuse when they are filled with confidence and have a compelling future they love. People who love what they do and are building something of meaning and value have little time for drugs and alcohol. Why wait until you get to a drug rehab? Why not take the time to dream of your future now?

As corny as it sounds, if you are having trouble getting the ball rolling, try putting the phrase, â??If I could wave a magic wandâ?? (IICWAMW for short) in front of any question

IICWAMW where would I live?
IICWAMW what would I do for work?
IICWAMW what people would I like to work with?
IICWAMW what type of clients would I like to serve?
IICWAMW what accomplishments would I want?Go though the entire list writing as much as you can for each question

Start this process, and spend some time with it. Don’t rush it. Don’t sell out by saying, it’s not possible. Anyone that has the skill to keep an drug addicition from friends and family, and is able to plan their drug use and maintain their drug supply, has the skill to do this exercise. Give it a try!

Not only can work add to the stress in other areas of your life, it seems work itself is getting more and more stressful.
In a study comparing workers in 1977 to 1997 the following trends were noted:
88% of employees say they have to work very hard, versus 70% in 1977
68% of employees said they had to work very fast, versus 55% in 1977
60% of employees do not have enough time to finish everything required to get done versus 40% in 1977..

In the same study, more than 25% of the people responded â??very often or oftenâ?? that in the last 3 months:
Felt used up at the end of the workday(36%)
Brought work home once a week or more(31%)
Didnâ??t have time for family and other important people in their lives(27%)
Didnâ??t have energy to do things with their families and other important people in their lives(28%)
Werenâ??t in a good mood at home because of their jobs(26%)
ot have enough time to finish everything required to get done versus 40% in 1977

Bond, Thompson, and Prottas, Highlights of the National Study of the Changing Workforce, Vol. 3 (Families and Work Institute, 2003),p. 63,65,76

So what does all this have to do with drug rehab and drug addiction. It seems that the avereage american worker is under more and more stress. Uncontroled stress most definately may lead back to more drug abuse and relapse. Uncontroled stress is one of the major underlieing causes of addiction. So if you are recovering from addicition, or if you are in treatment for drug addicition, simply getting an average job, may be putting your drug treatment at risk. Feeling used up at the end of the workday is not the recipe for health after being in treatment at a drug rehab. Actually when you closely examine the points brought out by that particular study of workers, one can readily see why drug and alcohol abuse are on the increase.

Drugs have become one of the main ways to cope in our society. So to truly change your life, to make a compelling and bright future, you have to go to the cause, and find out what you really want to do in your life. What is your real purpose, and what is it that you want to accomplish? When you answer these questions carefully and thoughtfully, then you are truly moving away from the drug addiction lifestyle.

When your thoughts are focused on what you can build or accomplish, instead of counting days since your last incident of drug abuse, the you are really starting to change. So once you really see that to end the effects of drug and alcohol addicition in your life for good you have to go back and find out what you really, really want to do with your life, then let’s do it. If you could wave a magic wand, what would you do, what would you want to accomplish?

Our work impacts many areas of our life. Work consumes a large portion of our available time. Many times it involves juggling commitments to children and other family members. Work usually involves a different social group from our friends. Work usually involves dealing with expectations of co-workers, superiors, customers and deadlines. Work involves money, prestige, and self-worth. Work may involve late shifts, travel, boredom and monotony.
The time consumed by work and itâ??s location will ultimately impact these areas as well:
Exercise
Personal Growth and Reading
Meditation
Hobbies and relaxation

So work impacts the quality of our core relationships, our peer group, our finances, our physical health, our sleep patterns and our ability to grow and learn. Controlling and removing the stresses from these areas of our lives is the main component of any relapse prevention plan. Not controling these stresses will lead to renewed or continuing drug use. Without meaningful work that fits into your life plan it may be very difficult if not impossible to prevent relapse! Work touchs on all the emotion triggers that cause or perpetuate drug and substance abuse. Work and the time it consumes will effect all the techniques and areas of growth anybody touched on while in a drug or alcohol rehab. What all this means is work may be a souce of fundamental strength in your life, or may be a fundamental problem.
If you find meaningful life affirming work, you won’t need as many stress reduction techniques in your life. Less stress means a decreased chance of returning to drug abuse and a recurrance of the addiction. In most drug rehab programs the final phase of treatment always includes a component on work. It is just that necessary. The next several days here will be on ideas on how to find and keep meaning work in your life. It may seem strange in a discussion about drug rehab and addiction, but again in this site we want to talk about the core fundamentals on how to end addiction, not just cute “sayings” to get through the day. Life is too incredible a journey to be wasted counting days.

I would like to finish this segment on relationships and developing a great social support network with a discussion of one more topic. We have established the enormous value of a support network in the treatment of drug and alcohol addiction. The types of support received are essential to the prevention of substance abuse in the future. The size of the social support network must match your needs as well as the stage of treatment you are at for your addiction. The speed at which you approach people and the degree that you open up must be appropriate for your level regardless of how long in has been since you have left drug rehab.
Then what we are left with is the actual work of building a social network for support. Here is the ironic and difficult part. Like attracts like. To attract and build a quality group that can actually be all that we discussed above will most likely require some changes on your part. To receive quality, attentive and truthful support, we must nuture and grow those characteristics in ourselves. If we want great listeners in our life, we most likely need to improve our own listening skills. If we want positive encouragement from our friends and family, we must stop complaining and look at life in a more positive light. If you wish to have a great group to help you move past you drug addiction, you have to earn it. The good news is that by focusing on yourself you stay in contol and busy. Addiction is a bad negative spiral. Self improvement is a good positive spiral. To stay free from drugs and alocohol for the long term, and to avoid going to multiple drug rehabs and relapse, we choose to place more positive spirals in our life. Great friends are a wonderful gift, go out and earn some today.