Hello everyone, I've been on holidays for the past while.  After a fun break it is always good to get back to work.  Someone sent me this great link.  I think we all need more of this in our lives.  Check it out here!  Back to drug rehab topics tomorrow.

Sometimes it seems like when you leave a drug rehab program you will have changed almost everything in your life.  While it is true that some behaviors have to be turned in a different direction, a lot of the original you will obviously still be there.  When we are changing things, we naturally focus in the 5% or so that will be different.  It seems like a lot.  However we really should look at the 95% of things that will be the same.  It doesn't seem like an impossible task.  It then looks more like a minor course correction. 

Too often in life we plan too many exit strategies.  We want to change.  We know the benefits to ourselves and others of the change.  We pay lip service to the change.  However we stop short of giving something 100% effort.  We plan in case it doesn't work out.  There is a subtle difference in our hearts though.  It is ok to have a back-up plan.  It is not ok to think "I probably won't succede, so I better have the next step planned when I fail."

If you really want to change in a drug and alcohol rehab program, burn your bridges on your way in.  Truly cut off any ties to drug and alcohol abuse PERMANENTLY.  Failure is not an option, can be more than just words.  When a step you take doesn not work, simply ask yourself what else can you do to achieve the desired result.  Tell the people whom you purchased drugs from that if they ever sell to you again your lawyer will tell the police of their activities.  Make it clear that you have moved to the non-drug using side of the street and you intend to stay there.  Tell your drug using friends that if they ever use in front of you, again you will turn them in.  Chances you may never see them again, but that may be the price of commitment. 

Short little video clip by Penn and Teller.   Check it out here.

Every drug and alcohol rehab center has several common goals for their clients.  One is the ability to make better quality decisions in their lives.  This leads to the question of what makes up a good decision?  How can you tell a poor decision?

Good choices have several characteristics in common.  Firstly they are congruent with your long term goals.  They are based on evidence or facts as much as possible.  There is little emotion or rationalization involved.  Be emotional about your goals.  Be far less emotional about your decisions.  Good decisions come from an open and flexible examination of the current situation and it's details.  Choices based on what is most likely to lead to a long term favorable result rather than what you would like to do, or what is the most fun to do.

How does a drug rehab teach good decision making?  By practicing the process itself.  Does the drug rehab center take the long view?  Does it re-evaluate it's program regularily and change it's processes by examining the results.  Dogmatic rehabs (only one way to sobriety, and don't challenge it) that never change and evaluate their rehab program cannot teach good decision making.  Poor quality choices will lead to relapse and a return to drug and alcohol abuse.

When looking at addiction in a drug and alcohol rehab center you will often hear a phrase repeated again and again with small variations.  Interesting enough, I even heard it spoken on a tv show about very large people addicted to food.  What I am talking about is, "I had so much pain in my life, I used (drugs, drank, ate food, gambled, ect.) to cover the pain for a little while.

I know many people have a significant and uncomfortable events in their lives.  I also know there are times when feeling pain and sadness is a totally appropriate response.  The length of time for this also varies from person to person.  However, there comes a time for each and every person when feeling pain is no longer appropriate, and certainly not healthy. 

Part of this process is looking for new and added definitions to the event.  Any event can have more than one meaning.  An event may have been the most painful of your life.  It could also be strengthening, empowering, and enlightening.  It may be the key to you learning true compassion.

New meanings come from asking better questions.  Instead of asking, "Why did this happen to me?", why not ask a more empowering one.  Something as simple as, what else could this mean?  Here is a better one.  In what ways have I become a better and wiser person because of this?  What can I do to help other people because of this?  Questions of this nature, will start to more you from pain and into action.  When you are in action, you will not need food, drugs or alcohol to cope.  While you are in a drug and alcohol rehab program, look at the events of your life that need new definitions added to them.  New meanings lead to a new path in life.

Once someone has entered a drug and alcohol rehab program, it does not take too long before them start to think clearly.  Ususally about 7 to 10 days after arriving at a rehab center, a clients mood starts to improve and they usually for the first time in quite a while start to feel hopeful about the future.

There is a another side to this ability to think clearer and not spending all waking moments with drug seeking behavior.  You also see clearly all of your poor actions and behaviors over the past months and years.  Most clients want to apologize to those close to them.  They want to make inroads on re-building trust.

This is not an easy task.  I recently came across and excellent book that would assist anyone who wants or needs to make some effective apologies.  It is titled The Five Languages of Apology.  The authors are Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas.  While it is not written for drug or alcohol addiction, it is a wonderful source of information about how to give and receive and apology.  Just saying I'm sorry is not enough.  This book will guide you to restoring damaged relationships.

A friend once said to me, "The problem with graitude is that you have to be grateful!"  It was a cute response to the difficulty sometimes we face in getting into the mindset of gratitude.  Old questions and "tapes" in your head block the path to the peace and calm that gratitude will bring.  The isolation of drug and alcohol addiction block the path to addiction.  When you feel lonely and misunderstood, it is easy to say, "I have nothing to be greatful for." 

You have the right and ability to be calm and happy right now, this minute.  While happiness may not be appropriate for the circumstances in your life at this moment, it would be wise to realize you can choose it anytime.  Most clients in drug and alcohol rehab have the ability to be sad and depressed in a second.  They spend a large portion of their time in unhappy states.  A good drug and alcohol rehab program will help you to acquire the skill of moving into positive emotions without using drugs or alcohol.

The path to gratitude is through repeated questions.  If you ask the question, "What am I grateful for?", and you don't get a n answer, ask again.  Sometimes you can get past the mental filter we put up by asking, "If I wanted to be grateful at his moment, what could I be grateful about?"  Another great question is, "What do I have right now, that I fear losing the most?"  Funny how quickly we can answer a fear based question.  The upside here is you can be grateful for having it in your life this moment.  While you are drug and alcohol rehab work hard at this exercise.  You will find questions to give you the wonderful things you are blessed with.  Dig deeper today.

In a drug and alcohol rehab center it is very easy to get totally focused on the job at hand.  Attending all the classes.  Getting back into shape physically.  Dealing with past legal issues.  Mending past relationships.  There is a large amount of foward focus.  There is one problem with this.  It tend to lead to the "I'll be happy when syndrome." 

I'll be happy when I finish rehab.  I'll be happy when I get a job.  I'll be happy when my girlfriend forgives me.  Positive change and moving past drug and alcohol abuse is a wonderful amazing thing.  However don't let your knew focus and direction keep you from being happy today.

There is one step we often all miss.  It is gratitude.  Sometimes we just do not want to fel grateful.  If you are in the middle of detoxing and feeling rather poorly sometimes it is hard to be grateful.  However there is very little peace and joy without gratitude.  In every situation there are many, many things to be grateful for.  You can always be grateful for the people around you.  The ones who want to move past addiction.  Be thankful for the rehab center,no matter how humble it may be.  Be thankful you are still alive.  Be thankful for the love you have had in your life.  Be thankful for the country you live in.  Spending 10 minutes when you get up and repeatly ask yourself, "What am I grateful for today?"  Do the same exercise just before you go to bed at night.  Don't put off happiness for one more day!

It is ironic that often in our lives what would give us the most benefit is the thing we want to do the least.  Most times when someone enters a drug and alcohol rehab program to a large degree they have a feeling of defeat.  They have some hope, but to a large extent they wonder how they ended up at this point in their life.  It is hard to get motivated in a state of mind like this.  If fact it is hard sometimes to do anything.

This is why it is important to do as much as possible while you are in a rehab program.  Do all the activities.  If you want to change and learn, you have to stay busy.  This is important for serveral reasons. One is the more idle time you ave the more time for your inner voice to eat away at your confidence.  The other is you want to be able to sleep well at night.  The more you do during the day, the easier it will be to fall asleep at night.  Changing your sleep pattern is pivotal in sobriety.

Doing all the groups and activities is probably the last thing you want to do. It may be all you can do to get to the compulsory groups, and you may just sit through them.  However, you might want to ask yourself the following question.  What is the worst that could happen if you did everything on the schedule and participated fully in every part?  Now follow that up with, "What is the worst that could happen if I do nothing?"

Which path will give you the better chance at changing your life?  Here's a hint, go stay busy while you decide.