When you have a family memeber addicted to drugs and alcohol you are in a difficult situation.  You might be one of the last people to still believe in them.  You might be there last life line.  The problem is, what if you feel like they are pulling you down with them.  This is especially true of parents and their children.  You have sacrificed financially your whole life for your child.  You have postponed vacations and other things in your life so you could provide for them.

Now you are at a stage where you should be concentrating on yourself.  Looking to other pleasures and adventures but instead you are presented with the choice of spending your money on rehab for your adult child, or finally doing something for yourself.  You are also confronted with the knowledge of the fact drug rehab is not 100% successful.  Not by a long stretch.  How so you decide how much you are willing to give.   "Whatever it takes".  "I'd spend anything to save my kid".  These are trite answers that do not really solve the problem.  If you actually follow them you will leave yourself open to manipulation and financial ruin.

You cannot save a drowning person if you drown yourself.  Firstly decide how much you can afford to spend or borrow for rehab without putting yourself into serious financial peril.   Stick to that amount.  Then decide what are the criterion that you are willing to spend it.  One should be total willingness to go by the client.  Two should be a commitment to stay at the program, no matter what.  There will be no exception to not completing.  If they do not complete, you make it clear you will not assist them in any way in the future.  Write it down and stand by it.  Think of other things you require from someone before you commit your money to this project.  Write them down. 

Once you have your limits and conditions in place then you can start to actively intervene to make it happen.  Do not blindly promise to send someone to rehab, "If they only try".  Be clear about your boundaries and the behavior you are willing to tolerate and support.  Love them unconditionally, but support them only if you can and it actually helps.

This entry was posted on Friday, February 8th, 2008 at 4:57 pm and is filed under Drug Rehab. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.