Love is something we all hope to feel and enjoy. Many times the love we feel with our immediate family and friends is simply the best part of our lives. In addiction however the strength and definition of love is pushed to the limit of human endurance and beyond. The term of love can change in addiction. Tough love gets thrown around a lot. What exactly is tough love? How do you love unconditionally and still keep sound and protective boundaries in place?

When dealing with addiction, you might want to separate two issues. The first is how much you care. The second is what you do. It does not matter how badly someone behaves in their addiction you are allowed to care. The more you care, the more you will be able to maintain to opening and lifeline for change. Try not to pull back on your love when they are difficult and lavish it on while they are sober.

Your actions however need to be carefully scripted and held in by common sense. Decide your boundaries alone and with careful thought. Write them down. Decide your limits both in terms of time and financially. Decide if and when you are going to say no. A great area to start with this is simply the law. If your loved one breaks the law, let them deal with it. Do not rescue them. Do not try to save them from a criminal record. If you save them from this incident, with minor issues, how will you feel when they run over and kill someone while they are intoxicated? By helping them avoid the consequences of their actions, you may unwittingly aid them in more dangerous and disastrous actions. Tough love, might mean stop rescuing. Stop paying rent when they are not working or looking for work. Stop treating them like they are 12.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 at 7:13 am and is filed under Alcohol Blog, Drug Rehab. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.