So many of the clients headed into drug rehab are angry and depressed. They use drugs to stop as many of the negative feelings in life as they can. Drugs have become the pathway to the only feelings of happiness and calm they can find. Of course the problem is, after time their drug of choice no longer delivers this feeling.

How can a person find and feel happiness? How to you find joy when all you look at seems like damage and pain. When talking to families and asking them about the situation, I often hear, “They are sad and down all the time. They are just so negative about life”. Obviously a good deal of depression may be simply a side effect to all the drugs they have been taking. A large part of it though is also the patterns of thought they repeat in their head.

One way to deal with negative thought patterns is to consistently ask a better question. Ask it with intention. Ask it over and over again. You can start with “What am I happy about right now?” You may answer, NOTHING, but be stubborn and ask it is a different way. What could I be happy about right now, if I gave myself permission to be happy? Another great question is, what am I grateful for right now? What am I grateful for in this situation I am in? Who am I grateful for in my life? What has happened in my past that I am grateful for?

See how many times in a day you can say thank you. The land of happiness is often found though the bridge of gratefulness. If you look someone in the eye and sincerely say thank you, it is hard for you not to smile. It is hard to grimace and stay angry as you list of things you are grateful for. It is hard to maintain a grudge as you list off all the things about a situation you are grateful for.

In drug rehab there are bad days. If this journey was easy, you would have changed already. The key to enjoying drug rehab lies in gratitude. Making a list of all you can be grateful in a situation will change your focus. Change your focus and you change your life

After attending a drug and alcohol rehab sometimes clients relapse. Sometimes they can look at the relapse and deal with it without returning to the drug rehab center. In other situations, it may require to return to rehab. If you go back, what is the purpose? What might be the best things to focus on the second time? How long should you stay? Should you return to the same center, or would a different one be a better choice?

I think the answers to these questions may lie in how and why the relapse occurred. Stop and think about the days before the relapse. Was it a progression of several events that compounded on each other? Was it a large event that occurred rapidly and you did not see it coming? What skills, if you had, would have prevented this relapse? What structure in your life, would have prevented this negative occurrence.

The answers to these questions will help you decide what to do next. Make sure the center you return to is able to teach the skills you require. Ask them for a plan. Ask them how you will know when you have learned them? Also plan on staying a long enough period of time to actually learn, practise and become comfortable with them. When you relapse, it probably is a sign you still haven’t mastered the skills to cope with stress and anxiety in your life. Make sure you learn them this time.

I was discussing a relapse with someone last night.  One of the causes was the break-up with a significant other.  This person had been doing well after spending time in a drug rehab program.  They had a good job.  They got a place of their own to live. They felt they were starting to regain many of the things their addiction had taken away from them.  On closer look, one thing was missing.  It was structure from various sources.  They only had it from one source.

Structure are all the activities that are set into your schedule on at least a weekly basis.  They are recurring.  They are of a commitment type nature.  In other words, if you do not show up, someone will call and ask what happened to you.  Working out at the gym 3 times a week with a workout buddy is structure.  Volunteering is structure.  Giving part time child care to a single mom is structure.  Being on a fun team for baseball, basketball or softball is structure.

The only srtucture in this individuals life was work, and their significant other.  The lose of one or they other left a huge hole. Lonliness plus the stress and anxiety of a break-up is a large burden to deal with.  If you have structure in your life, you still have to get out and see people, even in the difficult times.  You have friends that after working out, you can grab a coffee with.  Structure helps to make your support network large enough that the loss of one or two parts are not insurmountable.

It also help you to get out and do things without planning and calling people.  When we are tired and down the last thing we fell like doing is making plans.  Having a few pre made plans every week will take that burden off.  It will keep you from isolating. Stucture is not easy to put in place.  You have to look for it.  You have to make an effort to build it.  It will also save your life.

When a family member is in drug rehab, what can the family being doing while they are there?  What does quality support for someone in drug rehab look like?  What are a few of the most important things you can do to help?  Everyone wants rehab to be successful.  Everyone wants to move past the pain and difficulties an addiction causes within a family.  However, even with good intentions, it does not happen in a high enough percentage of the cases.  So what are some things family members can do to raise that percentage of success towards a higher number?

The first one is so obvious it really does not occur to most people.  You need to start to take care of yourself.  You might want to consider some basic exercise and relaxation techniques.  Getting your loved one into drug and alcohol rehab was most likely an exhausting and long experience.  Before that, I am sure you had many sleepless nights.  You need to restore yourself.  Many of the poor phone calls between a family member in drug rehab and someone home in the family are simply because neither party is rested.  In the first few weeks after stopping use of a drug or alcohol the sleeping pattern has not yet turned back to normal.  Staring a new drug rehab program is stressful.  So if you have a tired stressed client phoning an exhausted family member, it can lead to poor communication.

Just as it is a new start for the person in rehab, it also can be a new start for the family members as well.  Get some rest.  Go for some walks.  Spend  a few minutes a day reading something calm and inspirational.  Eat some healthier foods.  The week before as you were making final arrangements for drug rehab you probably lived off of coffee and fast food. You cannot offer support if you have none to give yourself.  I will present a few more ideas in a couple of days, but start with yourself, which is always the best place to start.

Sending a family member to a drug rehab program is about new beginnings.  It is about the faith in someone to get their life back on track with their dreams and goals.  This can be difficult for the rest of the family.  Sometimes Moms and Dads as well as other as other family members harbour deep seated resentments and anger over the past.

Parents who have spent a good deal of their retirement funds on their adult child's addicition and drug rehab.  Siblings who have felt a loss over family trust and anger about the addicted individuals impact on the family.  It serves no purpose re-living these evnts over and over.  Setting boundaries for today and getting on with your own dreams is vital.  If you can it might be wise to give the person going to drug rehab the room to grow.  Statements like, "I can't even imagine them having a regular life, not being addicted to drugs"!  While I understand your pain and frustration, statements like these may just keep the addicted family member "addicted" in your eyes, no matter what they do.

How do you beak the negative feeling towards someone?  How do you start to mend the mental fences in your mind that have been broken by drug and alcohol addiction.  As with most times, it is with a better quality of question.  "What do I appreciate about my daughter?" is a good place to start.  The first time you ask this your brain may say, "NOTHING!"  Keep asking or modify the question.  What did I used to appreciate about them before thier addiction?  When they are not using, what are their best qualities?  If anything happened to them what would I miss the most about them?  What are the way my life is better because of them?  If you keep asking questions in this line you will start to build a list.  No person is simply an addiction.  

I am not asking for you to to be taken advantage of.  I am not asking you to minimize what someone and their addiction may have impacted your life.  I am asking you to at least make room for the possibility of change.  I am asking you to look at everything about someone equally, not just the pain or their drug addiction.  The reason is, that if you cannot imagine them changing, you might just convince them that they cannot change.  Then everyone does not win.

Part of our job in drug and alcohol rehab is to get families to believe again.  We get lots of questions about our program.  A lot of times I hear the statement, "I'd pay anything if I knew it would work".  I think what many people are really saying is, that they are not willing to spend more money on an addicted loved one without a very good chance at success.  They have lost faith. They question if they loved one will ever change.  They question if a drug rehab program can really work.  They feel lost and trapped.  If they do not help they loved one may die.  If they do help and it does not work they feel like they are wasting more of they life and resources.  

There are no studies showing someone has to relapse, or relapse is inevitable.  If someone offered you a cancer treatment with a 50% cure rate, people would try it without missing a heartbeat.  People repeatly seek cancer treatments with lower success rates than that.  It seems it is not good enough in addiction treatment.

Most clients will be able to move past addiction.  Most clients will repsond to and alter their life after attending a drug rehab program.  If you do not believe in the value of treatment, you will make it even more difficult for your loved one to stay sober. Lack of support will add to their stress and that alone will lead to relapse.  If it were anything but addiction, you would not be so hung up on success rates before seeking treatment.

Going to drug rehab is about persistance.  It is about doing whatever it takes to get out of a lifestyle that will age you well before your time and kill you if you play with it long enough.  I heard about an individual who has been to various drug rehab programs for over 23 times.  I have to admit, while I have heard many clients who have been to 5 to 7 drug and alcohol rehab centers this was a number that even surprised me.  

Firstly anyone who goes to drug rehab 23 times clearly is demonstrating they want to change.  They clearly do not want to live the life they are presently in.  You could not possibly do 23 interventions, so without a doubt this person is willing to try to change.  There is a point though where you might really have to do something differently to change is this keeps occuring.  I am not trying to blame the person or the drug rehab centers, but if what is being tried, is not working, I doubt the 24th time will make the difference.

Maybe at some point you may just want to consider moving to a place where there are no drugs or alcohol available.  Go volunteer for a camp or organisation where there are just no drugs available.  There are groups of people who do not allow any drugs and alcohol in their lives or their surroundings.  Move there and join them.  This may seem like a trite solution, and it is not meant to be.  The idea I am trying to put forward is about, if what you are doing is not working, you at some point have to try another solution.  I certainly think 23 visits to rehab is trying something.  I think we all get caught up in the "perfect answer" syndrome.  Even things that work 99.99% of the time, sometimes do not work.  For that person they need another solution.  Telling them to just keep trying and sooner or later they will get it is somewhat creul and isolating.  Sooner or later we will all be dead.  Standing with someone and saying you will work with them until the find a solution is wonderful.  Saying they have to fail a 25th time at the same thing is uncreative and uninspired.  Drug rehab is a great solution.  It does not work for everybody all the time.

There are lots of "extras" in drug rehab programs.  Things like work programs, family counseling, adventure camping skills, equestrian skills, art and dance skills.  All these add to the overall experience and certainly add to the social and fun part of the program.  However many times when looking for a good drug rehab center, clients let the extras cloud their decision about which is the best program for them.  

A lot of poeple think family counseling is critical and important. It is a valid point that family harmony is a really worthy goal. However, a client really should be able to handle the stress of difficult family relationships and stay sober no matter what the outcome. In other words, a weekend family counseling session may do some good in improving the realtionships in the family.  It is more important for a client to learn to stay sober, now matter how unsettled or "crazy" their family may be.  Your father may always be cold to you, you cannot change other people, you can learn to deal with distant realationships so they do not affect you and lead to to relapse.

While a work program is a good idea, again it is important to learn skills to keep yourself focused and sober even if you do not have a job.  The "work" is not the solution.  Changes in your actions and patterns of thinking are the solution.  Try not to let "external" activities and things distract you from what will utlimately change your life.  They are intereisting, fun and useful, but they are not the main reason why you should go to a drug and alcohol rehab center.

It is wonderful the drug rehabs add new a wonderful things to their program.  Anything that gets people to seek treatment and stay in a drug rehab center until the end of their program is great.  Just do not get confused about the extras.  Look for the core of the program.  Riding horses will not make you sober.  Discipline and commitment to change will.

When you are considering going to an alcohol and drug rehab center, how much information should you tell friends about what you are going to do?  At this time it may be best to stay on the side of caution and discuss as little as possible with everyone.  Before you go into a drug and alcohol rehab center you may not be in the best frame of mind.  Your life is most likely our of control and your judgement is very impaired.  You may regret telling everyone what you are doing later.

Wait until you have been in rehab for a while and your head has cleared.  Sometimes clients feel a need to tell everyone they are going to rehab to deal with the guilt of past behavior.  The kind of, "forgive my past behavior because now I am going to rehab" sort of thing.  After you have moved on in your life and have addiction under control you may not want everyone asking you," What is drug rehab actually like anyway?"  

When you leave, if you feel the need simply say you are taking some time to work on some personal issues in your life.  Leave it at that.  If later in your life you want to become a spokeperson for the fight against alcohol and drugs so be it, but do not make this choice before you go.  Reveal your past while your are sober and have decided it is the right thing for you to do.

We are going through a update process withour website.  Over the last two months we have updated our drug rehab listings and improved our drug rehab search features.  We added a better drug rehab news feature and well as updating the drug rehab blog.  What other things would you like to see?  How else can we serve you?

I have already talked about our upcoming drug rehab on line as well as our self study drug rehab books.  What are you having trouble finding in the drug rehab world?  Would any like a chat or drug rehab forum feature?  We are till looking for more free dug rehab centers and other low cost alternatives?  Would you be interested in a client rating system for drug rehab centers?

I am sure there are at least some things we have overlooked.  Please help us by simply requesting what you want and we will do our best.  Anything we can do to make this the source for anything about drug and alcohol rehab we will certainly try.  So don't be shy, let us know.  Take care and thanks in advance for your input.