When dealing with the idea of going to a drug and alcohol rehab center, it is essential to be realistic in your expectations.  Any qaulity program tries very hard to assist people in their change from drug dependance to a full and rewarding life.  However, many clients coming to a rehab have had upwards of several to many years of poor decisions and behavior.  Many of the previous behaviors were dangerous to themselves and others.  It is simplistic to think years of behavior will be easily changed in an enviroment with no rules or consequences.

If change on this scale could be made without rules and hard work, people would have just changed at home.  They would not have wrecked their lives.  They would not have hurt and let down their loved ones.  They would not have broken the law.  They would have done a better job with their employers.  So all the people who were able to change without the rules and clear boundaries have already changed.  Drug rehab is for the people who have chosen not to change willingly. 

So maybe stop blaming a rehab for what they need to do to make it safe for you to change.  Stop blaming yourself and others in your life.  For whatever reason it seems you need the safety and structure of a drug rehab center to make the change you have been unable to make so far.  Drug rehabs should not be a spa.  Spas should be a spa.  Rehabs need to be safe and work very hard at giving the clear direction and guidance for those people who need it to make their lives better.

When someone is in an addictive cycle, or attempting to move past addiction the all have one thing in common.  They are all "terminally unique".  They think the adice and stategies you are recommending are wonderful… for everyone else.  They all have these special complications and reasons why it is not quite the right thing for them to do.  Are these complications real?  Are they real justifications for delaying treatment? 

The truth is that we are all unique.  No two people are the same.  No two addictions are EXACTLY the same.  However the result is the same.  Chaos, destuction, loss of money, values and family.  In addiction, if you add up all the issues, there are far more similarities than there are differences.  The discussion of the unique issues are ususally justification to continue to use.  The core issuses of addiction are the same.  Stress and anxiety in ones life.  Comunication, acceptance, distorted patterns of though are issues with all clients.  If you are stuck in addictive cycle, just get help.  Stop talking about the few things that are unique to you.  Seek help to deal with the things that are destroying your real ability to be you and different.  Lies and manipulation make it hard to be unique,

Most of us know at least a few people who are having difficulties with drug and alcohol.  You see there behavior deteriorate.  You see the light gradually go out in their eyes.  You see them start to look more and more unhealthy.  They break boundries.  They break promises.  They need to ask for help and money.  Rent becomes a problem every month.  Often their phone is disconnected or "broken" for periods of time.

So when do you step up?  When do you ask questions?  Where do you draw the line?  How much poor behavior or destruction does it take before you feel compelled to do something?  Obviously there is no cut and dried answer to this question.  I think the sooner the better.  Simple but powerful questions such as "What do you ultimately want in your life?", can often deflect focus to behavior withour judgement and justification.  If you could change some things about your life what would they be?  If you could start over again, what would you do differently?

These are all questions to show your concern without immediately jumping on the "your addicted and have a problem bandwagon".  Why not try many early and "mini" interventions, instead of one big emotional and expensive one.  At least it is worth thinking about.

Many of us have an aversion to starting over.  Sometimes when things in life are not working for us in an area of our life a little tweaking will do.  Sometimes it involves a change of focus or direction.  Other times it may be more efficient or even necessary to simply start over.  Still other times we may have no option but to start over.  The situation may have deteriorated to the point there is nothing left to work with.  In drug rehab treatment often a person is looking at starting over in at least one or two areas of their life. 

Their addictive behavior may have cost them a job or a career.  Legal issues may have made it impossible to work in the same area as they were previsously employed.  Relationships may have come to an end.  Often clients are faced with divorce.  This always means starting over.  Often we fight and hang on in situations were starting over would make sense.  It probably stems from our fear of failure.  If we are starting over, we must have failed, or at least the voice in our head would want us to think that.  There are at least two errors is this line of thinking.  One is that you may not have failed at all.  Ten years down the road we often see that what we thought was failure was simply a leaning experience or stepping stone to success.  The other mistake is that you are never truly starting over.  Even if financially or otherwise it looks like you are back at square one, you are not.  You have the wisdom and experience of what you learned.  You cannot help but do a better job the next time because you have a whole list of things you know do not work.  You have another list of things you know you will handle differently.  These two lists are always a valuable asset.  What starting over really might be considered as trying again with a head start.  Funny how changing the words a little bit in a definition can make all the difference.  Drug rehab is not starting over.