Drug and alcohol rehab is about positive change.  There is lots of motivation to move past drug and alcohol abuse.  Leaving the financial woes of addiction behind is something to be dreamed about.  Living a life on the safe side of the law and not worriying about the constant fear on paranoia of arrest is certainly something anybody would want.  Having your body return to health and vibrancy is again something of a no brainer.  Who would not want to be more healthy?

With so many positive reasons why is it still so difficult to move past drugs and alcohol?  One is simply that change, any change is difficult.  Once we learn something, we like to do things the way we know how.  Doing them differently feels uncomfortable and clumsy.  It feels that way in the beginning for everyone.  While many of us are are certainly more adept at change, it is still at least moderately uncomfortable for even the most experienced at change.  So the key may lie in expecting it to be uncomfortable.  Know that if you are feeling uncomfortable it is a sign that you are actually changing.  It is in fact a bit of proof of your effort.  If you are not feeling something you are probably not changing!

When dealing with the idea of going to a drug and alcohol rehab center, it is essential to be realistic in your expectations.  Any qaulity program tries very hard to assist people in their change from drug dependance to a full and rewarding life.  However, many clients coming to a rehab have had upwards of several to many years of poor decisions and behavior.  Many of the previous behaviors were dangerous to themselves and others.  It is simplistic to think years of behavior will be easily changed in an enviroment with no rules or consequences.

If change on this scale could be made without rules and hard work, people would have just changed at home.  They would not have wrecked their lives.  They would not have hurt and let down their loved ones.  They would not have broken the law.  They would have done a better job with their employers.  So all the people who were able to change without the rules and clear boundaries have already changed.  Drug rehab is for the people who have chosen not to change willingly. 

So maybe stop blaming a rehab for what they need to do to make it safe for you to change.  Stop blaming yourself and others in your life.  For whatever reason it seems you need the safety and structure of a drug rehab center to make the change you have been unable to make so far.  Drug rehabs should not be a spa.  Spas should be a spa.  Rehabs need to be safe and work very hard at giving the clear direction and guidance for those people who need it to make their lives better.

When someone is in an addictive cycle, or attempting to move past addiction the all have one thing in common.  They are all "terminally unique".  They think the adice and stategies you are recommending are wonderful… for everyone else.  They all have these special complications and reasons why it is not quite the right thing for them to do.  Are these complications real?  Are they real justifications for delaying treatment? 

The truth is that we are all unique.  No two people are the same.  No two addictions are EXACTLY the same.  However the result is the same.  Chaos, destuction, loss of money, values and family.  In addiction, if you add up all the issues, there are far more similarities than there are differences.  The discussion of the unique issues are ususally justification to continue to use.  The core issuses of addiction are the same.  Stress and anxiety in ones life.  Comunication, acceptance, distorted patterns of though are issues with all clients.  If you are stuck in addictive cycle, just get help.  Stop talking about the few things that are unique to you.  Seek help to deal with the things that are destroying your real ability to be you and different.  Lies and manipulation make it hard to be unique,

Most of us know at least a few people who are having difficulties with drug and alcohol.  You see there behavior deteriorate.  You see the light gradually go out in their eyes.  You see them start to look more and more unhealthy.  They break boundries.  They break promises.  They need to ask for help and money.  Rent becomes a problem every month.  Often their phone is disconnected or "broken" for periods of time.

So when do you step up?  When do you ask questions?  Where do you draw the line?  How much poor behavior or destruction does it take before you feel compelled to do something?  Obviously there is no cut and dried answer to this question.  I think the sooner the better.  Simple but powerful questions such as "What do you ultimately want in your life?", can often deflect focus to behavior withour judgement and justification.  If you could change some things about your life what would they be?  If you could start over again, what would you do differently?

These are all questions to show your concern without immediately jumping on the "your addicted and have a problem bandwagon".  Why not try many early and "mini" interventions, instead of one big emotional and expensive one.  At least it is worth thinking about.

Many of us have an aversion to starting over.  Sometimes when things in life are not working for us in an area of our life a little tweaking will do.  Sometimes it involves a change of focus or direction.  Other times it may be more efficient or even necessary to simply start over.  Still other times we may have no option but to start over.  The situation may have deteriorated to the point there is nothing left to work with.  In drug rehab treatment often a person is looking at starting over in at least one or two areas of their life. 

Their addictive behavior may have cost them a job or a career.  Legal issues may have made it impossible to work in the same area as they were previsously employed.  Relationships may have come to an end.  Often clients are faced with divorce.  This always means starting over.  Often we fight and hang on in situations were starting over would make sense.  It probably stems from our fear of failure.  If we are starting over, we must have failed, or at least the voice in our head would want us to think that.  There are at least two errors is this line of thinking.  One is that you may not have failed at all.  Ten years down the road we often see that what we thought was failure was simply a leaning experience or stepping stone to success.  The other mistake is that you are never truly starting over.  Even if financially or otherwise it looks like you are back at square one, you are not.  You have the wisdom and experience of what you learned.  You cannot help but do a better job the next time because you have a whole list of things you know do not work.  You have another list of things you know you will handle differently.  These two lists are always a valuable asset.  What starting over really might be considered as trying again with a head start.  Funny how changing the words a little bit in a definition can make all the difference.  Drug rehab is not starting over. 

There is something that always has to be addressed when you are attempting change.  It is change.  Though it may seem silly to say this, but to change you actually have to do something different then you have done before.  You cannot change by doing things exactly as you have in the past.  A lot of clients expect somehow that just going to a drug rehab center is enough.  They can act the same, do the same, feel the same and behave the same.  Somehow just the enviroment of rehab will change them.  The same for the family members.  They still want to control and rescue the addicted loved one.  They want to interact the same and deal with problems the same way as before.

This will not work.  Act the same and you will get the same.  If the program at a drug rehab center does not get you to do things differently from before the chances of real change are slim.  As a family member, expect the client doing rehab to be uncomfortable.  Doing things differently is difficult.  It is not always fun.  It is not always easy.  This is not a reason to intervene.  It is not a reason to ask the rehab to do things differently.  Let the client solve thier problems on their own.  Let them change.

Sometimes things just get stuck.  Arguments get repeated over and over.  Time is wasted justifying our actions in the past.  Relationships once they are damaged can take a very long time to heal.  There is one thing; however that may speed up this process.  It involves one person simply taking the high road.  Dr. Phil appropriately calls it being a “Hero”.  It truly is a powerful and giving act.

Simply deciding the other person and the relationship is of greater value than the past.  Forgive everything, judge nothing, and be love.  If you want to change a relationship that is stuck and filled with anger, try these three things for one month.  If you are in rehab for 90 days why not try it for the whole 90.  Start with forgiving everything.  Just forgive it all.  Forgive the other person and forgive yourself.

Then judge nothing.  Make no assumptions, stop looking for errors or proof you were and are right.  Simply be grateful for the other person.  Ask and expect nothing.  Then what ever you think love is, let it show.  Give it with everything you have.  Give with no judgment or expectation.  Giving totally without expectation is a risky move some would say.  Kind of sounds like something a hero would do.  Want to really make a difference while you are in drug rehab?  Be a hero in a relationship that is damaged in your life.

Learning to say no can be a difficult journey.  In addiction and drug rehab it is a vitally important one.  Drug and alcohol refusal skills are something that might want to be practiced each and every day you are in rehab.  Would it not be wonderful if by the time you left rehab, that if someone offered you a drink, you would say no thanks, BEFORE you even thought about it. 

Saying no to situations you do not like.  Saying no to lifestyles you no longer want to be around.  Not because you have to, but because you want to.  You want more.  Is it not funny that on some level you have to say no, to get more of what you want.  Yes to a great life, means you have to say no to a poor one.  Drug rehab is a safe place.  Practice every day saying no.  Practice saying no, with a big smile on your face.   Giggle and laugh while you say it.  Say it with so much conviction, that person will never ask you again. 

Many of us have life in reverse.  We spend far too long deciding what to do.  Followed by far to little montoring after the decision.  Nobody has a crystal ball.  Nobody can predict the future.  At the very best maybe you can be right 60% of the time, but for most of us, it is far lower than that.  Probably 50% is a more reasonable figure.  About the odds of flipping a coin. 

Since we truly have a bad time guessing the future, why not take an easier route?  Assume a lot of your decisions will be wrong.  Then it becomes a game of finding the bad decisions, rather than guessing the unpredicatable.  The key is in monitoring decisions.  This lies in clearly defining the objectives of any choice you make.  Objectives are simply clear results linked to a specific timeline.  This can greatly speed up the time spent on a decision.  Many times it is better to do something and see if it is right, rather than spend endless days guessing about what is the right thing to do.

When things do not turn out how we would like, often we want to remove our own responsibility in the situation.  When asked why something went wrong we respond in this manner.  I don’t know it just happened.  We are not actively saying it was not our fault.  We are just implying it.  The truth is that we do know why it happened.  Maybe we are not sure with 100% certainty.  With 80% certainty we do know what happened.  We do know the decisions that lead to the event.

NOBODY RELAPSES BY ACCICDENT.  No one accidentally falls on a syringe with heroin in it.  There are not gangs of roving terrorists forcing people to drink alcohol.  Leaving a bottle of alcohol hidden in case of an “emergency” is not an accident.  Driving to the area of town where it is easy to buy drugs is not an accident. 

Think about working out and getting back in shape.  Have you ever heard anyone say this?  I don’t know what happened.  I was just having an ordinary day.  Then suddenly I was in the gym in my track pants lifting weights.  Then I couldn’t stop.  I kept lifting weights for 13 days straight.  I could not stop.  I’m a gymaholic, I’ve got a disease I guess.  It’s not my fault.

If you have relapsed, you know what happened.  You made a series of choices that lead you to be in a place to use.  Then you chose to use.  You can make a different choice.  You can choose a relapse prevention plan.  You can choose better structure in your life.